Monday, January 21, 2013

Encouraging Christ Confident Kids

Tonight, I asked my son who his best friend at school was.  He told me a name and then I proceeded to ask if they played together on the playground.  He said, "no, he already has friends."  I then began to pry a little farther and asked who he DID play with on the playground.  My kindergartner nonchalantly responded, "well, everyone already has someone to play with, so I play by myself."  In that moment, I felt a part of me wither inside.  I immediately started going into action mode, thinking of the letter I would write to the teacher, making sure that my son was included in activities.  I then stopped to pray.  I asked myself, "Is this really the crisis you are making it out to be?"  Your son is confident, happy, and feels secure in who he is. We have worked hard in our household to let our children be who they are and tell them to live as Christ wants them to live no matter what.  Yet, I was tempted to make sure that my son was popular. 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized we as parents WANT our kids to be popular.  We want them to be accepted and on the in crowd.  Mostly because, at some point in time, we experienced the pain of the outside.  However, what we want for our children is completely contrary to Scripture.  John 15:19 says, "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

What we, as parents, need to learn to do is teach our children to find their confidence in their relationship with Christ.  We need to help them find avenues where they can find like-minded friends. We must also encourage and love them through the lonely times, especially as they grow older.  I remember one Saturday night as a teenager, hanging out with one of my friends and crying out to her saying that I simply wished to get drunk just so I could be like everyone else.  The moment passed, but it left an impact. 

As I pray for my children, my prayer is not that they will be accepted, but that they will find friends who will encourage them and will have the same beliefs they will have.  I pray that they will be strong in faith and that they will use adversity to cling to the cross. 

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